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Termite Joke

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

Never Done Anything Wild?

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes, he's 95. We went to the food court to buy some lunch when we noticed a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look over and catch him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never did anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food to prevent choking upon hearing his response. "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Jelly Bean Farts

Man who eat jelly beans, farts in technicolor.

Senators Are Like Farts...

How are US Senators like farts?

Blondes And Cow Pies

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?

Tree Scientist Joke

What do you call a tree that does science experiments?

Jailed Picture Frame Joke

Why was the picture frame sent to jail?

Cat For Christmas Joke

My kids say they want a cat for Christmas. Normally, I do a turkey but hey, if it will make them happy...

The Schizophrenic Buddhist

What do you call a schizophrenic Buddhist?

Marriage Tip

When your wife is mowing the lawn, that's probably not the best time to ask when dinner will be ready.

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