JOKES INDEX

Question 1

Bad Coffee

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

Question 2

What Would They Say...

Three guys die in a car wreck and are sent to heaven. At the gates St. Peter asks the three men what they would want their families to say at the funeral. The first man says, "I want them to say I was an excellent husband and a great police officer." The second man says, "I want them to say I was a great husband, a wonderful teacher and that I made a huge difference in their lives." The third man says, "I wish they would say...LOOK! HE'S MOVING!"

Question 3

I Talk To Myself

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Question 4

Cow Farts

What does a cow's fart smell like?

Question 5

Eat Homework Joke

Why did the student eat his homework?

Question 6

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

Why didn't the ghost eat his candy?

Question 7

A Local Business Was Looking For Office Help...

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at him and said, "Meow."

Question 8

Three Little Pigs Joke

A pig walks into a bar and asks for a glass of water. It drinks it, then asks where the bathroom is. The bartender points him in the right direction and pays no more attention to the pig. Another pig walks into the bar, orders two glasses of water. He drinks them and asks where the bathroom is. The bartender points him in the right direction and then turns his attention back to his work. A third pig walks in, orders five glasses of water, and drinks them all down. He gets up to leave and says goodbye to the bartender. "Wait," says the bartender, curious, "Aren't you going to ask where the bathroom is?" "Nope," says the pig, "I'm the pig that goes wee wee wee all the way home."

Question 9

You've All Heard Of TGIF...

You've all heard of TGIF - Thank God It's Friday, right? Well my Assistant refers to Friday as POETS day... Piss Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday!

Question 10

New Frangrance

I just released my own fragrance... Nobody in the car seemed to like it.

JOKES INDEX

Bad Coffee

What Would They Say...

I Talk To Myself

Cow Farts

Eat Homework Joke

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

A Local Business Was Looking For Office Help...

Three Little Pigs Joke

You've All Heard Of TGIF...

New Frangrance

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