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Gold Watch

A judge was instructing the jury that because a witness changed his statement after giving it to the police, he should not necessarily be regarded as untruthful. "For example," the judge said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was certain that I had my gold watch in my pocket, then I remembered that I had left it on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge arrived home that evening, his wife asked, "Why so much urgency for your watch? Don't you think sending three men to pick it up for you was a bit extreme?" "What?" exclaimed the judge. "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," replied his wife, "after all, he knew exactly where it was."

The Devil Called Down To Georgia

The Devil called down to Georgia, he was looking for some votes to steal. He was in a bind because he was behind and he was willing to make a deal.

Collecting Unemployment Joke

Collecting Unemployment Don and Rob worked together and both were laid off, so they headed over to the unemployment office. When Don was asked his occupation, he replied, "Panty stitcher. I sew elastic onto cotton panties." The clerk looked up panty stitcher and found it classed as unskilled labor, so she gave Don $250 a week unemployment pay. She then asked Rob what his occupation was, and he replied, "Diesel fitter." Looking up diesel fitter, the clerk found it classed as skilled labor, so she gave Rob $500 a week. When Don found out, he was furious. He stormed back in to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double the amount that he was. "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor," the clerk explained. "What skill?" Don yelled. "I sew the elastic on, Rob puts it on and says, 'Yep, diesel fitter'!"

Egg And Easter Bunny Joke

What did the egg say when the Easter Bunny told a joke?

Date Night Joke

I had a date last night and I really enjoyed it. So tonight I'm going to try a fig.

She Missed Me Joke

She said she missed me. Normally, that would be good... But she's reloading.

Easter Bunny Tail Joke

Where does the Easter Bunny go for new tails?

What Is A Police Officer's Favorite Sweater Joke

What is a police officer's favorite sweater?

New World Joke

Imagine a world where Youtube, Twitter and Facebook merge to become as YouTwitFace.

Piano Locked Out Of The House Joke

Why was the piano locked out of the house?

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