Joke: I was shopping in a large pharmacy and asked one of the wandering assistants, "Excuse me, where can I find a pregnancy test?" "No problem," he said. "They're right beside the condoms." I said, "Id I knew where the condoms were I wouldn't need a pregnancy test."
Joke: Ladies, if he is... is hot, always smells good, makes your mouth water, tastes amazing, leaves you feeling happier than ever... That's not your man. That's a taco!
Joke: An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex if she wanted to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. The Angel visited the woman a month later to see how she was getting on. "Not bad," said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when I bent over to look in the freezer, my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels and he pulled up my skirt and made love to me right then and there." "They don't like that in heaven", said the Angel. The woman replied: "They're not crazy about it in Costco either."
Joke: 89-year-old Bob was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Bob replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Bob replied, "That would be my wife.
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