170 KID JOKES

Question 1

Is Your Mom Home?

A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares. As he walked up to the next house, he noticed a small boy sitting on the front steps. "Is your mother home?" the salesman asked the small boy. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still, no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home?!" The kid replied, "She is, but this isn't where I live."

Question 2

Baby Shark Joke

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Question 3

Bubble-gum Train

What do you call a train with bubble-gum?

Question 4

Cookie Doctor Joke

When does a cookie go to see a doctor?

Question 5

Balloon Music Joke

What type of music are balloons afraid of?

Question 6

Skeleton Dance Joke

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Question 7

Dracula Halloween Joke

Why is Dracula so easy to trick on Halloween?

Question 8

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Question 9

Why Was The Belt Arrested

Why was the belt arrested?

Question 10

Candy Under Pillow Joke

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Question 11

Cat's Favorite Nursery Rhyme Joke

What's a cat's favourite nursery rhyme?

Question 12

Fried Chicken Joke

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too, especially chicken, pork, and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...

Question 13

Happy Frogs Joke

Why are frogs so happy?

Question 14

Elf Car Joke

What kind of cars do elves drive?

Question 15

Get A Mouse To Smile Joke

How do you get a mouse to smile?

Question 16

Chocolate Chewbacca

What do you call Chewbacca when he gets chocolate in his fur?

Question 17

Pampered Cow Joke

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Question 18

Pig's Secret Message

How do pigs send secret messages?

Question 19

Only One Yogi Bear Joke

Why did god make only one Yogi Bear?

Question 20

Why Do Male Dogs Float In Water Joke

Why do male dogs float in water?

Question 21

Teddy Bear Dessert

Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?

Question 22

Farmer Bury Money Joke

Why did the farmer bury his money?

Question 23

Sick Lemon Joke

What do you give a sick lemon?

Question 24

Cold Painter Joke

What does the painter do when he gets cold?

Question 25

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

Question 26

Lego Joke

Lego store reopens after lockdown! Folks lined up for blocks!

Question 27

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Question 28

Toilet Paper Hill

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Question 29

Superhero Toilet Joke

Why did the superhero flush the toilet?

Question 30

How Does An Astronaut Cut His Hair On The Moon?

How does an astronaut cut his hair on the moon?

Question 31

Joke Time

Want to hear two short jokes and a long one?

Question 32

Flakes

Girl 1: "This morning my dad gave me soap-flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast!" Girl 2: "I bet you were angry with him!" Girl 1: "Angry?! I was foaming at the mouth!"

Question 33

Texas Capital

What is the capital of Texas?

Question 34

Thesaurus Breakfast Joke

What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?

Question 35

Chip Monkey Joke

What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips?

Question 36

Haunted House Joke

What is the safest room in a haunted house?

Question 37

Pirates Favorite Country

What's is a pirates favorite country?

Question 38

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Question 39

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?

Question 40

Cross Bambi And A Ghost Joke

What Do You Get If You Cross Bambi With A Ghost?

Question 41

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

Why didn't the ghost eat his candy?

Question 42

What's The Difference Between Snow Men And Snow Women?

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Question 43

Banana Goes To The Doctor

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Question 44

Cloud Clothes Joke

What do clouds wear?

Question 45

Headless Horseman Halloween Joke

Why did the headless horseman start his own business?

Question 46

What Was E.T. Short For Joke

What was E.T. short for?

Question 47

Baby Corn Joke

What did the Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?

Question 48

Tickle Me Elmo

What did they give Tickle-Me-Elmo before he left the factory?

Question 49

Old Apple Joke

What do you call an old apple?

Question 50

Eat Homework Joke

Why did the student eat his homework?

Question 51

Talking Plate Joke

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Question 52

Potato Day Joke

What day of the week does a potato hate the most?

Question 53

What Do You Call A Cat That Sucks Lemons?

What do you call a cat that sucks lemons?

Question 54

Riddle

What can you catch but not throw?

Question 55

Danger!

You are in a car travelling at a constant speed. On your left is a valley, and on your right is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car, and you can't overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter, flying at ground level; both are travelling at the same speed as you. What must you do to get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Question 56

Peek-a-boo Joke

Where do you take someone when they've been in a peek-a-boo accident?

Question 57

Batman And Robin

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?

Question 58

Pirate Singers Joke

Why are pirates great singers?

Question 59

Mummy, Mummy

Mummy, mummy. There's a man at the door with a bill.

Question 60

How Much Does A Pirate Pay For Corn Joke

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

Question 61

Woods And Running

How far can you run in the woods?

Question 62

God Is Watching

In the cafeteria of a Catholic school, the children were lined up for lunch. At the head of the line was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and she had placed it in front of the apples. The note read: "Take only one, God is watching." Further down the cafeteria line was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies... One of the boys had written a note of his own. The note he placed in front of the cookies read: "Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

Question 63

Fish Wearing Bowtie Joke

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Question 64

Chimney

What did the big chimney say to the small one?

170 KID JOKES

Is Your Mom Home?

Baby Shark Joke

Bubble-gum Train

Cookie Doctor Joke

Balloon Music Joke

Skeleton Dance Joke

Dracula Halloween Joke

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Why Was The Belt Arrested

Candy Under Pillow Joke

Cat's Favorite Nursery Rhyme Joke

Fried Chicken Joke

Happy Frogs Joke

Elf Car Joke

Get A Mouse To Smile Joke

Chocolate Chewbacca

Pampered Cow Joke

Pig's Secret Message

Only One Yogi Bear Joke

Why Do Male Dogs Float In Water Joke

Teddy Bear Dessert

Farmer Bury Money Joke

Sick Lemon Joke

Cold Painter Joke

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

Lego Joke

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

Toilet Paper Hill

Superhero Toilet Joke

How Does An Astronaut Cut His Hair On The Moon?

Joke Time

Flakes

Texas Capital

Thesaurus Breakfast Joke

Chip Monkey Joke

Haunted House Joke

Pirates Favorite Country

Halloween Vampire And Snowman Joke

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

Cross Bambi And A Ghost Joke

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

What's The Difference Between Snow Men And Snow Women?

Banana Goes To The Doctor

Cloud Clothes Joke

Headless Horseman Halloween Joke

What Was E.T. Short For Joke

Baby Corn Joke

Tickle Me Elmo

Old Apple Joke

Eat Homework Joke

Talking Plate Joke

Potato Day Joke

What Do You Call A Cat That Sucks Lemons?

Riddle

Danger!

Peek-a-boo Joke

Batman And Robin

Pirate Singers Joke

Mummy, Mummy

How Much Does A Pirate Pay For Corn Joke

Woods And Running

God Is Watching

Fish Wearing Bowtie Joke

Chimney

Animal Wig Joke

Nose Pickers

Advice From Kids

Mother's Day Joke

Ghost Day Car Joke

Joke Search

Joke Categories

Contributors

Newsletter