JOKES INDEX

Joke: Two guys got into a fight on the bus here yesterday and one of the guys threw a hatchet and hit the other guy in the head. The strange part is the victim refused to press charges so my guess is that he must have axed for it.

Joke: A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The bear says "I'll have a rum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and coke." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, " What can I say, I was born with 'em."

Joke: Two guys are sitting together in a bar. One guy starts yelling at the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other guy will do. The first guy yells out again, "HEY...I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other guy just looks at him and says, "Go home dad, you’re drunk."

Joke: Hollywood has been making a movie about constipation for years but they aren't sure if it will ever come out.

Joke: How did the crazy guy get through the jungle? He took a psycho path.

Joke: I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!

Joke: A woman is on trial for beating her husband with his guitars. The judge asks her, "first offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender."

Joke: What do Christmas and crabs have in common?

Joke: Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.

Joke: Where does Santa go after Christmas to relax?