Elderly Jokes Page 2 of 6 Fart.com

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The Truth About Getting Old.

I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got lost on the way back, now I have no idea what is going on.

Old Lady Joke

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

Elderly Jokes — Old Lady Joke Joke Meme.

Grandma Walking Joke

At the age of 65 my grandma started walking 5 miles a day. She's 92 now and we have no idea where she is.

Share Everything Joke

An elderly couple goes to a fast food place where they carefully split a burger and fries. A man takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. ''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.'' A few minutes later, the guy notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he offers again. ''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.'' Unconvinced, the guy asks the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?'' The wife snaps back, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

Grandpa Joke

I asked my granddaughter to fetch me a newspaper. She laughed and said, "Grandpa you are so old, just use my phone." So I slammed her phone against the wall and killed that annoying fly.

Elderly Jokes — Grandpa Joke Joke Meme

Jewish Grandma

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 30. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell." "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?....... "What..... You're coming empty handed?"

Never Sing In The Shower

Singing leads to dancing, Dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember don't sing in the shower!

Fireman Joke

Little old lady calls the fire department, screams, come quick, my house is on fire! Man says, how do we get there? She says, don't y'all still have those big red trucks?

Elderly Jokes — Fireman Joke Joke Meme

Don't Honk In The Drive Through

I know I shouldn't have, but I am old and I was in the McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again, Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.

Grandma On Speed Dial

I put grandma on speed dial and now I have Insta-Gram!

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