Joke: So, I got pulled over in the carpool lane the other day. When the officer asked where my passenger was. I told him due to social distancing, he was in the car behind me.
Joke: A police officer called the station on his radio. "I have an interesting case here. An old lady just shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped." "Have you arrested the woman?" "Not yet. The floor is still wet."
Joke: A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big-shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Now tell me, do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
Joke: George an 83-year-old man, was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garage, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the garage stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is your garage detached from your house" and he said yes. Then they said that all patrols were busy and that he should simply go back into his house, lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my garage. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now cause I’ve just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes 6 police cars, a SWAT team, a helicopter, and an ambulance showed up at George's residence. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
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