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The Israeli Archaeologist

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed. Abe replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed Abe called the archaeologist. "You were right about both the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?" "Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

Why Do Male Dogs Float In Water Joke

Why do male dogs float in water?

Well Rounded Church

There was a congregation that decided to have four worship services each Sunday. There was one for those new to the faith. Another for those who liked traditional worship. One for those who had lost their faith and would like to get it back. And another for those who had a bad experience with church and were complaining about it. They have names for each of the services: "Finders, Keepers, Losers, Weepers."

The President And The Cat

Did you hear the one about when the Great Recession began? The President appointed a cat to chair the Federal Reserve. Do you know why? Because when a cat falls, it always lands on its feet.

Strip Down Joke

The cashier told me, "Strip down facing me". By the time I realized they meant the debit card, it was too late.

Singing In The Shower

Singing in the shower is all fun and game until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Water Tower Joke

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

A Blondes Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that now was named Rolex and the other one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming their dogs like that?" "Helloooooo...," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

Exorcist Joke

If you don't pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?

Change A Light Bulb Joke

How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

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