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Joke:

What does the Rabbi love even more than his shekels?

Punchline
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Joke:

Police, "Why didn't you report your credit card stolen?" Man, "The thief was spending less than my wife."

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Joke:

Only when a mosquito lands on your testicles... do you learn to solve problems without violence.

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Joke:

A Roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter, "five beers, please."

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Joke:

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."

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Joke:

Yo mamma so fat that when I swerved around her in my car, I ran out of gas!

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Joke:

Yo Momma is so Dumb she put training wheels on your tricycle.

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Joke:

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"

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Joke:

Broken pencils are pointless.

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Joke:

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
4. Stay away from prunes.
5. Never pee on an electric fence.
6. Don't squat with your spurs on.
7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
13. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
14. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
15. Never try to baptize a cat.

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