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Psychic Joke

The other day I went to see a psychic. When I knocked on the door she shouted, "Who's there?" So I left.

Stolen Credit Card

Police, "Why didn't you report your credit card stolen?" Man, "The thief was spending less than my wife."

Never Hold Your Farts

Never hold in your farts. They travel up your spine into your brain... and that's where crappy ideas come from.

Movie Theatre Fart

An elderly couple is at the cinema. About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'

Your Momma So Fat...

Yo mama so fat she's got a real horse on her polo shirt.

Dear Santa Joke

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

Fart Teacher

What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart?

Yo Mama So Fat Movie Joke

Yo Momma's so fat they show IMAX movies on her butt!

Anti-Gravity Joke

I bought a book on anti-gravity and just can't seem to put it down.

The Worlds Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "No!" And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played a lot of golf, and drank beer and whiskey, and had loads of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted. The End.

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