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Page 79 of 190
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A True Atheist
Joke:
An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air; then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!" At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!" "Come on God, give me a break!!" the man pleaded. "two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
VOTE
Pampered Cow Joke
Joke:
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Punch Line
VOTE
Sooner Or Later
Joke:
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail. The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?" The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." The judge then said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge when will I get out?" The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later."
VOTE
Girlfriends Eyebrows Joke
Joke:
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised!
VOTE
Irish Furniture Pun
Joke:
Who is Irish and sits outside all day?
Punch Line
VOTE
Two Rabbis
Joke:
Two Rabbis argued late into the night about the existence of God, and, using strong arguments from the scriptures, ended up indisputably disproving His existence. The next day, one Rabbi was surprised to see the other walking into the Shul for morning services. "I thought we had agreed there was no God", he said. "Yes, what does that have to do with it?" replied the other.
VOTE
Family Tree Joke
Joke:
If I shook your family tree, how many nuts would fall out?
VOTE
No Pun
Joke:
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
VOTE
An 86 Year Old Man Walked Into A Crowded Waiting Room Joke
Joke:
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis", he replied. The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." “Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" “There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't pee out of it," he replied......... The waiting room erupted in laughter!
VOTE
Valentines Day Joke
Joke:
What did one penny say to the other penny on Valentine's day?
Punch Line
VOTE
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