JOKES INDEX

Question 1

Toilet Papered

Neighbors house got TP'ed last night... Now it's listed on Zillow for $12.5 million.

Question 2

Stop Shredded Cheese, Make America Grate Again!

Stop shredded cheese, make America grate again!

Question 3

Quarantine Joke

I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, "Must be nice".

Question 4

ATM Addicted To Money Joke

Did you hear about the ATM that was addicted to money?

Question 5

The Switch

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, "Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies." Now God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, pay the bills and balance the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint. The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back." The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant last night."

Question 6

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Pat is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder. When he is stopped at customs they fin that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why Pat said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Mick and he told me he was starting a Jazz band and could I bring him two saxophones."

Question 7

Dentist And Golfer Joke

What did the dentist say to the golfer?

Question 8

Two Flames Fall In Love Joke

What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love?

Question 9

Duelling Judges

Brett and Ruth, who were both judges, were each cited for speeding and had the same date to appear in court. However, when they arrived at court on the appointed day, the courtroom was empty. So, instead of wasting time waiting around, they decided to try each other. Motioning Brett to the stand, Ruth said, "How do you plead?" Brett replied, "Guilty." "That'll be fifty dollars and a warning from the court." Ruth stepped down and the two judges shook hands and changed places. "How do you plead?" asked Brett. Ruth replied, "Guilty." Brett reflected for a moment. "These reckless driving cases are becoming all too common of late," he pointed out. "In fact, this is the second such incident in the last fifteen minutes. That'll be two hundred dollars and ten days in jail."

Question 10

Angry Snowman Joke

Why shouldn't snowmen get angry?

JOKES INDEX

Toilet Papered

Stop Shredded Cheese, Make America Grate Again!

Quarantine Joke

ATM Addicted To Money Joke

The Switch

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Dentist And Golfer Joke

Two Flames Fall In Love Joke

Duelling Judges

Angry Snowman Joke

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