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Criminal Steals A Dress For His Wife Joke

A judge frowns at the criminal report of the man he is judging. He asks, "So you robbed the same store on three successive nights?" The robber replies, "Yes your honor." The judge, even more perplexed asks, "And why was that?" "Because my wife wanted a dress," says the robber. The judge checks his records, "But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!" "Yes sir. She made me exchange it twice."

Yo Mamma Is So Short...

Yo momma is so short, she stepped in a puddle and drowned.

A Pilot Flying A Small Plane Joke

A pilot's flying a small, single-engined charter plane with a couple of really important execs on board. He's coming into Seattle airport, only there is thick fog, less than 10ft of visibility, and his instruments are out. So he circles around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he's pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. At last, in a small opening in the fog, he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around and winds down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hi! Where am I?", to which the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane". The pilot winds up the window, executes a 275-degree turn, and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple," replies the pilot. "The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, that must be Microsoft's Support Office and from there the airport is just 5 miles away on a course of 87 degrees! Any questions?"

Make Yourself At Home

When I go to someone else's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

Hamberger's Girlfriend

How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Why Did The Turkey Cross The Road?

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Love Is Like A Fart.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably crap!

Yo Momma So Fat Her Blood Type Is...

Yo momma's so fat, her blood type is rocky road.

Yo Momma.. So Stupid

Yo momma is so stupid she drowned in the shower.

You Momma So Fat She Fell...

Yo mamma so fat she fell in love... and broke it.

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