JOKES INDEX

Question 1

Chuck Norris Fart Joke

Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest.

Question 2

Unconstitutional Farts

Did you hear about the unconstitutional ban on farts?

Question 3

Fart Or Pun

Do you know the difference between a fart and a pun?

Question 4

Pie Rate Joke.

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts cost $2.25... These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Question 5

The More Money You Make Sports Joke

We have studied Americans' favorite sports and came up with a conclusion. 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. 5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. 6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF. AMAZING CONCLUSION: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

Question 6

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on... Mac Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up. Windows Air The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. Windows NT Air Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes. Windows XP Air You turn up at the airport, which is under contract to only allow XP Airplanes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly colored, and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada. Linux Air Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench, and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Question 7

Heavier Than Butane Jokes

Why is water heavier than butane?

Question 8

Switched Toothpaste Fart Joke

I accidentally switched toothpaste with hemorrhoid cream. Now my sore tooth's better and my farts are minty fresh.

Question 9

My Friend David

My friend David lost his id, we now call him Dav.

Question 10

Orchestra Got Electrocuted Joke

Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted?

JOKES INDEX

Chuck Norris Fart Joke

Unconstitutional Farts

Fart Or Pun

Pie Rate Joke.

The More Money You Make Sports Joke

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

Heavier Than Butane Jokes

Switched Toothpaste Fart Joke

My Friend David

Orchestra Got Electrocuted Joke

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