Menu
(toggle)
JOKES
Jokes Index
New Jokes
Highest Rated Jokes
Adult Jokes 🔞
Airline Jokes
Animal Jokes
Baby Jokes
Bar & Drinking Jokes
Best Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Business Jokes
College Jokes
Computer Jokes
Cross the Road Jokes
Dad Jokes
Dentist Jokes
Doctor Jokes
Dumb Criminals
Elderly Jokes
Entertainment Jokes
Family Jokes
Farmer Jokes
Fart Jokes
Food Jokes
Golf Jokes
Holiday Jokes
Insult Jokes
Judge Jokes
Kid Jokes
Knock Knock Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Lightbulb Jokes
Little Johnny Jokes
Love Jokes
Marriage Jokes
Military Jokes
Misc Jokes
Money Jokes
Musician Jokes
National Jokes
News Jokes
Office Jokes
One Liner Jokes
Pickup Jokes
Pilot Jokes
Pirate Jokes
Police Jokes
Political Jokes
Pop Culture Jokes
Programmer Jokes
Puns
Redneck Jokes
Relationship Jokes
Religious Jokes
Salespeople Jokes
School Jokes
Science Jokes
SciFI Jokes
Sport Jokes
Star Wars Jokes
Teacher Jokes
Technology Jokes
Word Play Jokes
Work Jokes
Yo Momma Jokes
SETS
Joke Sets
10 Funniest Jokes
66 Halloween Jokes
Ant Jokes
WATCH
Videos
Sounds
Pranks
READ
Jokes
Quotes
Riddles
Fartology
SHOP
Apps
Games
Toys
SIGN UP
SIGN IN
JOKES INDEX
Page 35 of 190
«
1
2
...
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
...
189
190
»
Wife And Kids Joke
Joke:
I keep a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet... It reminds me of why there is no money there!
VOTE
Management
Joke:
A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week." The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "He just delivered the pizzas"
VOTE
Talking Plate Joke
Joke:
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Punch Line
VOTE
Energizer Bunny Pun
Joke:
Energizer bunny arrested: Charged with battery.
VOTE
A Man Goes To The Optician Joke
Joke:
A man goes to the Optician for his eye test. The Optician asks him what he can see. "I see empty airports, empty football stadiums, closed theaters, and closed pubs." "That's perfect," says the Optician. "You've got 2020 vision!"
VOTE
The Wife's Cat Joke
Joke:
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"
VOTE
What Is Politics?
Joke:
A little boy goes to his father one day and says, "Daddy, what is politics?" "Well," his father replied, "let me try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that you're the people. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we'll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we'll call her government. Your nanny will be the working class, and your baby brother is the future. Now go think about that and see if you can understand." The boy thinks about it but doesn't really get it so he goes to bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his baby brother crying. He goes to check on his brother and sees that he has soiled himself but doesn't know how to change a diaper. He goes to his parents' room to wake them up, but only his mother is there, snoring loudly. He goes to the nanny's room instead and finds the door locked. When he looks through the keyhole, he sees his father in bed with the nanny. Frustrated, he just goes back to bed. In the morning, the boy goes to his father and says, "I think I understand politics now." "Good," says the father. "Let's see what you've come up with." "Well," says the boy, "While the economy is screwing the working class, the government is fast asleep, the people are being ignored, and the future is in deep shit."
VOTE
Don't Honk In The Drive Through
Joke:
I know I shouldn't have, but I am old and I was in the McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again, Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.
VOTE
Church Fart Pun
Joke:
He who farts In church, sits In his own pew.
VOTE
Excuse For Missing Final Exam.
Joke:
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?
VOTE
«
1
2
...
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
...
189
190
»
Joke Search
Joke Categories
114
Adult Jokes
🔞
8
Airline Jokes
282
Animal Jokes
15
Baby Jokes
81
Bar & Drinking Jokes
100
Best Jokes
66
Blonde Jokes
9
Business Jokes
7
College Jokes
13
Computer Jokes
5
Cross the Road Jokes
395
Dad Jokes
6
Dentist Jokes
56
Doctor Jokes
8
Dumb Criminals
52
Elderly Jokes
15
Entertainment Jokes
21
Family Jokes
11
Farmer Jokes
121
Fart Jokes
133
Food Jokes
6
Golf Jokes
118
Holiday Jokes
24
Insult Jokes
4
Judge Jokes
171
Kid Jokes
10
Knock Knock Jokes
18
Lawyer Jokes
7
Lightbulb Jokes
4
Little Johnny Jokes
10
Love Jokes
80
Marriage Jokes
6
Military Jokes
117
Misc Jokes
13
Money Jokes
23
Musician Jokes
42
National Jokes
5
News Jokes
3
Office Jokes
78
One Liner Jokes
2
Pickup Jokes
4
Pilot Jokes
18
Pirate Jokes
22
Police Jokes
46
Political Jokes
76
Pop Culture Jokes
5
Programmer Jokes
233
Puns
11
Redneck Jokes
79
Relationship Jokes
57
Religious Jokes
5
Salespeople Jokes
31
School Jokes
29
Science Jokes
4
SciFI Jokes
31
Sport Jokes
17
Star Wars Jokes
26
Teacher Jokes
23
Technology Jokes
441
Word Play Jokes
63
Work Jokes
51
Yo Momma Jokes
Contributors
USERS
USER JOKES
ADD A JOKE
Follow @fartcom1
×
Newsletter
Get our Weekly Fart.com Jokes sent direct to your email inbox every week!
INCLUDES:
The last 7
Joke Of The Day's
,
Join our mailing list