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Quarantine

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

Another Personal Trainer Joke

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough... I've just handed in my TOO WEAK notice!

How To Spot A Happy Motorcyclist

How can you spot a happy motorcyclist?

Beer Study

University scientists have released the results of a recent analysis that reveals the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. It turns out that the "hops" in beer contain certain phytoestrogens, and scientists believe that by drinking enough beer, men may turn into women. In the study, 100 male volunteers were asked to drink 8 pints of beer in one hour. The results were observed and recorded. At the end of one hour, every single subject had developed female characteristics and the test was terminated. The data is provided below: After one hour, 100% of the test subjects: 1. Gained weight. 2. Talked excessively without making sense. 3. Became overly emotional. 4. Couldn't drive. 5. Failed to think rationally. 6. Argued over nothing. 7. Had to sit down while urinating. 8. Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. After these eight symptoms, no further testing was necessary.

The Long Drive

It was a sunny Saturday morning and Brian was beginning his pre-shot routine -- visualizing his upcoming shot -- when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: "Would the gentleman on the ladies tee back up to the men's tee, please!" Brian was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement: "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up the men's tee!" Brian had had enough. He shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!"

Dog Zoo Joke

Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?

Science Book Joke

Why were the two science books holding hands?

PhD In Dad Jokes

What does it take to get a PhD in Dad Jokes?

Egg On The Barn Joke

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

Sheep Vacation Destination Joke

Where do sheep go on vacation?

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