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Potential Vs Reality

A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned." The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would." Then he goes to his sister's room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! Definitely!" The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."

I'm Telling On You

What do you say to a person who says that they are going to tell on you?

Joke Jokes

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

Why Does A Rooster Crow?

Why does a Rooster crow so early in the morning?

Pirate Playing Cards

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

Bladder Infection Pun

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Invisible Man And Woman

An invisible man married an invisible woman. I'm not sure what they saw in each other. Their kids were nothing to look at either.

Two Peanuts

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

Men And Women Time Relativity

Have you ever noticed that a woman's "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" and a man's "I'll be home if 5 minutes" are exactly the same?

Camping Trip

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout. Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out. They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would. About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought." Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left."

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