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Page 123 of 190
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Cheeto Diet Joke
Joke:
I couldn't understand why I couldn't lose weight. Turns out there were saying KETO, not Cheeto!
VOTE
The Pizza
Joke:
An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up at the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?" The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on pizza what you order: pepper only."
VOTE
Burro Vs Burrow
Joke:
People who confuse the words "burro" and "burrow" don't know their a$$ from a hole in the ground.
VOTE
Chrome Plate Joke
Joke:
A man went to his dentist because he has a strange feeling in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything - meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "That's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It has eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
VOTE
Dog With No Legs Joke
Joke:
Where can you find a dog with no legs?
Punch Line
VOTE
Blonde Joke
Joke:
A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
VOTE
My Wife And I Were Happy Joke
Joke:
My wife and I were really happy for 22 years... Then we started dating.
VOTE
Ten Years For It
Joke:
A judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off. A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!" "Well, go ahead, tell me!" says the other judge. "I can't - I just gave a guy ten years for it!"
VOTE
Lobster Joke
Joke:
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. Paid my $2, then he says, "Once upon a time there was this lobster...".
VOTE
Where Do Polar Bears Vote Joke
Joke:
Where do polar bears vote?
Punch Line
VOTE
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