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Gang Of Ghosts Joke

What do you call a gang of ghosts?

A Blonde Opening A Coffee Shop

A blonde was asked to open up the coffee shop on Monday. So, the blonde went in early to open up. She gathered all the ingredients together, and had everything ready for the customers. Half an hour went by, and still no customers entered the coffee shop. The blonde decided to read the comics to pass the time. An hour later, her co-worker came in late as the blonde was still reading the comics. "Why does the sign say closed?" the co-worker asked the blonde. The blonde looked up from her comics, "Nah uh. It doesn't say closed. Look right there," she said pointing at the sign. "See, it says open."

Time Vs Money

The biggest difference between time and money: You always know how much money you have but you never know how much time you have.

Livestock Favorite Math Tool

What is a livestock's favorite math tool?

Lawyer Services

Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

Bra Joke

The biggest bra made for horses... Is the Z-bra!

Carpentry Pun

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I think I nailed it, but nobody saw it.

Good At Math Joke

There are only three kinds of people in this world: those that are good at math.. and those that aren't.

Social Distancing Pickup Lines

1) If COVID-19 doesn't take you out can I? 2) Is that hand sanitized in you pocket or are you just happy to be within 6ft. of me? 3) Since all the public libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead. 4) You can't spell virus without U and I. 5) Baby, do you need toilet paper? Because, I can be your Prince Charmin. 6) I saw you from across the bar. Stay there. 7) Without you my life is as empty as the supermarket shelf. 8) Hey Babe! Can I ship you a drink? 9) You can't spell quarantine without "U R A Q T". 10) I really can't stay. 11) Baby it's COVID-19 outside.

Is TV Making You Dumb?

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but it doesn't work.

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