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How To Avoid A Shark Attack

I was watching a show called "Ten ways to avoid a shark attack". I was really surprised that "Stay out of the water" wasn't #1.

An Avocado In Church Joke

What do you call an avocado in church?

Cremation Pun

Cremation is your last chance for a smoking hot body!

A Pen In Space

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

Hot Or Cold Joke

What’s faster hot or cold?

The Dog And The Car

Fred was getting out of his car to go to an electronics store and had his dog in the car with him. "Stay," said Fred. A blond was witnessing all this and said to Fred, "Would it just be easier to put it in park?"

What Did The Turkey Say To The Computer Joke

What did the turkey say to the computer?

Laundry Joke

Laundry: Washing - 30 minutes, drying - 60 minutes, putting away - 7 to 10 business days.

Nice Lawn Joke

I have a chicken-proof lawn... It's impeckable!

The Lost Coin?

My husband and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one evening when we heard sobbing coming from three-year-old Bobby's room. Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die - no amount of talking could change his mind. Desperate to calm him, my husband palmed a penny that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Bobby's ear. Bobby was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my husband's hand, swallowed it, and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, Dad!"

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