18 Pirate Jokes - Fart.com

Mar 16, 2020 Last updated: Nov 01, 2023

Blackbeard's favorite collection of pirate jokes. Pirates, stereotypically talk with an accent and begin sentences with an "Arrr". Some walk with a peg leg, and some have a hook in place of a missing hand while others may have long beards and wear an eye patch. Check out the related bar jokes for more laughs.

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A Pirate Walks Into A Bar

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean? I'm fine." "What about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannonball hit my leg but the Doc fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Oh yeah? Well what about that hook? The last time I saw you, you had both hands." "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the Doc fixed me up with the hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," said the bartender, "What about that eye patch? The last time you were in here you had both eyes." "One day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one of them crapped in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender, "You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap!" "Well, I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

Pirate Gets Cold...

What did the pirate say when he got cold?

Pirate Jokes — Pirate gets cold... Joke Meme.

Pirate Movie

Did you see that movie about the pirate? It's rated Arrr!

Pirates' Money

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?

Pirate With Ship's Steering Wheel

A pirate walks in to a bar, he has the whole pirate gettup: peg leg, funky hat,the long beard, and the parrot. But he has a ship steering wheel in his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, but you have a ship steering wheel in your pants. "The pirate says, "Arrrggg, IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!"

Pirate Jokes — Pirate with ship's steering wheel Joke Meme

Pirates Birthday

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Pie Rate Joke.

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts cost $2.25... These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Kid Playing Pirate Pun

A kid was playing outside and came in for some lunch when his mom asked him what he had been doing. "I was playing pirates with my friends," the kid says. "That's nice, where are your buccaneers now?" his mom asks. The kid answers "they're under my buckin' hat mom."

Pirate Jokes — Kid Playing Pirate Pun Joke Meme

Pirate Joke ....

What is a pirates favorite fast food place?

A Pirate Goes To A Doctor

A pirate goes to the doctor's and says, "I have moles on my back!" The Doctor: "It’s ok, they're benign." Pirate: "Count again! I think there be ten!"

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