Holiday Jokes Page 3 of 12 Fart.com

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Dear Santa Joke

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

Christmas Flu

Doctor says I have the Christmas flu. He called it tinselitis.

Holiday Jokes — Christmas Flu Joke Meme.

Drunken Wrapper

Do not drink and wrap presents. Also, if someone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm going to need that back.

Helping A Person In Need.

I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kindhearted, or I'm too naive. Last night it was so cold out that we took a man into our home out of the kindness of our hearts. We felt so sorry for him, poor thing was standing stiff and frozen out in the cold, but this morning he had just vanished. Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him. The last straw?!?! When I realized he had peed all over the floor! That's the “thank you” I get for being good to people?!?!?! Now I'm going to warn my friends to watch out for this man! He is heavy-set, wearing nothing but a scarf and top hat, he has a carrot-like nose, two black eyes, and his arms are stick skinny. Don't bring him into your house! What a mess he made on the floor.

Missing Cake

My wife bought a Christmas cake last week and now we can't find it. I think it was stollen.

Holiday Jokes — Missing Cake Joke Meme

Santa's Watching!

Santa's been reading your posts all year... Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.

Voting Elves Joke

Where do Elves go to vote?

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

Holiday Jokes — Snowman 6-Pack Joke Joke Meme

Santa Sleigh

How much did Santa pay to park his sleigh?

Valentines Joke

Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?

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