Joke: I wish my siblings would stop calling me "spoiled" just because I'm the baby in the family. The fact is, my parents kept having children until they found one they liked. It's so not my issue.
Joke: I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars. "Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For What?" "To buy groceries," I told him. "When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me a dollar, just one dollar, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, and can of coffee and a box of tea." He shrugged and paused. "Times have changed and you can't do that now," he told me. "Too many security cameras."
Joke: I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for lollies, biscuits, all sorts of things. The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say: "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Well, I was really impressed, and when I got outside I saw the grandfather loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I walked over and said to the Grandad "Its none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad." "Thanks," said the Granddad. "But I am William. That little a-hole's name is Kevin!
Joke: I feel bad for parents nowadays. You have to be able to explain the birds and the bees... The bees & the bees... The birds and the birds... The birds that used to be bees... The bees that used to be birds... The birds that look like bees... Plus bees that look like birds but still got a stinger!
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