56 DOCTOR JOKES

Question 1

COVID-19 Humor

An Epidemiologist, an ICU doctor and a scientist walk into a bar...

Question 2

I Think I'm Chicken

Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

Question 3

Shrinking Man See's A Doctor

A man runs into the doctor's office screaming that he is shrinking. The doc says, "Calm down you just need to be a little patient."

Question 4

Clone Jokes

We should ban jokes about clones... they're all the same!

Question 5

A Man Goes To The Optician Joke

A man goes to the Optician for his eye test. The Optician asks him what he can see. "I see empty airports, empty football stadiums, closed theaters, and closed pubs." "That's perfect," says the Optician. "You've got 2020 vision!"

Question 6

Dentist X-Rays Joke

What to dentists call their X-Rays?

Question 7

Psychiatrist To Me I Had A Split Personality

I went to the psychiatrist today. She told me I have a split personality and charged me $160.

Question 8

Stopped Drinking Coffee

I found that I have been happier since I changed from coffee in the morning to orange juice. My doctor explained that it's the vitamin C and natural sugars but I really think it's the vodka.

Question 9

A Guy Goes To The Doctor For A Checkup...

A guy goes to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor says,"Well sir, I have bad news and I have worse news". The guy says, "Well gimme the worst news first". The doc says, "Well sir you have Cancer". The guy says "That's terrible news, but whats the bad news?" The doc says "Well sir, you also have Alzheimers disease". "Well", answers the guy, "At least I don't have Cancer".

Question 10

Gingerbread Man Treatment Joke

How did the gingerbread man treat his injured leg?

Question 11

Nasty Virus

A man returns to the U.S. from overseas and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings."This is your doctor. We've had the results back from your tests and we've found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!" "Oh my gosh," cries the man. He's in a panic now. "What are you going to do, doctor?" "Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread." "Will that cure me?" asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, "Well no, but ... it's the only food we can get under the door."

Question 12

Hospital Joke

What part of the hospital has the least privacy?

Question 13

Going Deaf Joke

The Doc told me I was going deaf... It was hard to hear.

Question 14

A Second Opinion

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"

Question 15

Red Pen Joke

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

Question 16

An 86 Year Old Man Walked Into A Crowded Waiting Room Joke

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis", he replied. The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." “Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" “There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't pee out of it," he replied......... The waiting room erupted in laughter!

Question 17

Stunning Girlfriend Joke

The guy next to me on the train pointed to a photograph and said "This is my girlfriend, isn't she beautiful?" "If you think she is beautiful, you should see my wife," says I. "Why is she stunning?" "No, she's an optician!"

Question 18

Quit Drinking Joke

My doctor has given me three days to give up drinking. I've picked the 5th of June, July 17th, and October 9th!

Question 19

Sick Ant Joke

Why don't ants get sick?

Question 20

Dogs Can't Read

Dogs can't read an MRI but CATScan!

56 DOCTOR JOKES

Doctor Jokes

COVID-19 Humor

I Think I'm Chicken

Shrinking Man See's A Doctor

Clone Jokes

A Man Goes To The Optician Joke

Dentist X-Rays Joke

Psychiatrist To Me I Had A Split Personality

Stopped Drinking Coffee

A Guy Goes To The Doctor For A Checkup...

Gingerbread Man Treatment Joke

Nasty Virus

Hospital Joke

Going Deaf Joke

A Second Opinion

Red Pen Joke

An 86 Year Old Man Walked Into A Crowded Waiting Room Joke

Stunning Girlfriend Joke

Quit Drinking Joke

Sick Ant Joke

Dogs Can't Read

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