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Pig Dressed In Black Joke

Why would a pig dressed in all black never get bullied?

Pig With Ink On His Face Joke

Why did the pig have ink all over his face?

Cheating On Your Husband

A husband & wife are talking. Husband: "How many times have you cheated on me?" Wife: "Only twice." Husband: "Tell me about them." Wife: "Remember when you were very sick, and we didn't have money to pay for the doctor? Well, I slept with him." Husband: "That's not so bad; and the other?" Wife: "Remember when you were running in the elections, and you needed 450 votes?"

How To Win Powerball

After losing in last night's Powerball, I've decided to declare myselft the winner and to file lawsuits until I win!

Funny Bone Pun

If you boil a funny bone, it's a laughing stock, that's humerous!

Blonde And Beautiful Going To New York

There was a blonde sitting on a plane in first-class seats with an economy class ticket. The flight attendant asked to check her ticket. "Excuse me," she said "You only have an economy class ticket but you are sitting in first class. Could you please move to your allocated seat?" The blonde was very stubborn and said "I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to New York. "So the flight attendant went to another flight attendant and told her the problem. Her answer was the same." I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to new york." This went on with four other flight attendants. Finally, they went to the captain and told him the problem. He said, "I can handle this," and went to talk to her. He whispered something in her ear and she got up and ran to economy class. All the flight attendants were shocked and they asked him how he did it. He said, "I told her first class wasn't going to New York."

Lover / Friend

"The attractive man I met last night insists he just wants to be friends," the girl told her Aunt. "Now I know what to do with a lover, but what the heck do I do with a 'friend'?" The wise old lady smiled and said, "The same as with your lover, dearie, only not quite so often."

Art Museum Joke

Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

The Blonde & The Rabbit

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it." The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight. The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."

Left Side Cut Off Joke

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?

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