Joke Master

Joke Count: 6

What Do You Call A Broke Santa Claus

What do you call a broke Santa Claus?

A Local Business Was Looking For Office Help...

A local business was looking for office help and put up a sign saying: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at him and said, "Meow."

Termite Joke

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bartender here?"

How I Burnt My Ears.

John and Rick were borthers who worked at a used car dealership. One day Rick came to work with bandages on both ears. John noticed and asked, "How did you burn your ears?". Rick explained, "You see, I was ironing my Reyn Spooner when the phone rang and instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron. John, then asked, "So how did you burn your other ear?" Rick replied, "The person called back."

Why Do Santa's Helpers Get Depressed

Why do Santa's helpers get depressed?

What Do They Sing To Christmas Trees At The Retirement Parties

What do they sing to Christmas trees at the retirement parties?